Self-Control: An Eye on the Prize and an Eye on your Feet
Oct. 2, 2026
The Importance of Our City Wall
As we will see, self-control is very frequently taught in Scripture; important things often are. Self-control is like a city wall when enemies are around. Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who does not control his temper.” Proverbs 16:32 says, “He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city.” The Hebrew word for self-control, ma’sur, means to rule your own spirit. If you have no self-control, someone else will rule your city.
Imagine a Christian who abounded in all the facets of the fruit of the Spirit except for self-control. They would have a case of “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” At any time they could do something regretful or embarrassing. At Groucho Marx facetiously said, “I can resist anything except temptation.” You would not be able to count on them for anything. Paul emphasized self-control not just in Galatians 5:23, but also Acts 24:25; 1 Corinthians 9:25; 1 Timothy 2:9,15; and 2 Timothy 3:3. Peter emphasized it in 2 Peter 1:6. In Titus 2:2 “Older men are to be temperate, dignified, self-controlled, and sound in faith, love, and perseverance.” Older women are to be self-controlled in Titus 2:5, and younger men in Titus 2:6. 1 Tmothy 3:2 and Titus 1:8 say that self-control is especially important for an overseer.
Ungodly people are often not self-controlled in 2 Timothy 3:3. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.”
Related to self-control is a sober mind, or sophronismos in Greek. Paul speaks more of this in 2 Timothy 2:17; Mark 5:15; Acts 2:25; 2 Corinthians 5:13; Titus 2:12; 1 Timothy 2:9,15; Titus 2:2,5; and Romans 12:3. Peter especially emphasizes this in 1 Peter 1:13; 4:7; 5:8.
As a Christian, should you just follow your heart?
The world often says, “if it feels good do it.” But God’s word says the heart is desperately wicked. But if you are a believer, who draw close to God, and you have a good heart, some Christians would say you should do whatever you want, since you won’t want sinful things. Do you agree?
We might put Paul on a pedestal, as a super-Christian, but we are prone to forget that Paul, though he was close to God, still struggled with a thorn, with depression, and despair. Paul could have just given up, saying “I have done enough. I will just be a quiet, comfortable Christian from now on.” But like a good soldier, Paul contended for the faith, and he never stopped contending.
When Paul was traveling to Jerusalem, the Holy Spirit repeatedly warned him that he would suffer. Naturally speaking , no one would want that. But Paul had his eye on sharing Christ, and he chose to go anyway.
Remember, 1 Peter 2:11 and Galatians 5:16-17 tell us the flesh is waging war against us. Sin even warred against Paul in 2 Corinthians 1:8-10 and Romans 7:14-15. We should not “take it easy” but fight back.
What do you think about an athlete who only trains and practices when they feel like it? They probably are not going to improve much. No, they need to train strenuously when they should, and how they feel should not enter into the picture. Training: consistency is better than sporadic training; in fact in some sports sporadic training can lead ot pulled muscles.
Is Self-Control sort of like a Marshmallow?
There was a famous psychological study in the 1960’s and 1970’s called the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. You put a 4 or 5 year old child in a room with a treat, such as a marshmallow. You tell the kid they can eat the treat now if they wish. However, if they wait 15 minutes before eating it, they will get a second treat too. Some kids ate it right away, and some kids struggled with not eating it. They tried covering their eyes, singing, or turning away to wait the 15 minutes. Only about 30% of the children could wait 15 minutes. Then they followed up with the children for the next 40 years. Those that passed the “marshmallow test” had on average higher SAT scores, healthier weight, and better life outcomes.
Keep your Eye on the Prize
One person you can look to who has a lot of self-control is actually you! Let me explain. Let’s say a casting director just signed you up to be in a movie, and you will make $20 million All you have to do is memorize your lines in the next month. If making $20 million all depended on memorizing your lines by next month do you think you would at lest glance at them a few times? No, not just a few times, you would be furiously memorizing every day, in order to get the payday. What we think of as lack or opportunity, or lack of ability, is sometimes just lack of motivation
Sometimes Christians can lose motivation over time. In Revelation 2:4, Jesus rebuked the church at Ephesus because their love had grown cold. We have a responsibility to stay close to God, in prayer, Bible study, and good works, that our love does not grow cold.
But how do we navigate in this distracting world? If someone is lost in the woods without a compass, there is a natural tendency to end up hiking in a big circle. Boy scouts are taught that the way to ensure you are traveling in a straight line is to line up three landmarks a head of you. Once you get to the first landmark, line up an additional landmark beyond the last one. That way you can make sure your direction doesn’t change. We kind of need that in life too.
Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Jesus endured the cross, when He could have asked the Father to get Him off of it, because of the joy set before Him; His eyes were on the prize.
Just how seriously are we to take our quest for the “prize”. Romans 12:1-2 says that we are consider ourselves “living sacrifices”. Paul says in Philippians 3:12b-14 says, “I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus.” But was that just for Paul? No, Philippians 3:15a says, “All of us who are mature should embrace this point of view.”
Keep an Eye on your Feet
Besides focusing on the ultimate goal, you also have to focus on the immediate day-to-day, keeping one foot in front of another. Hebrews 12:12-13 says, “Therefore strengthen your limp hands and weak knees. Make straight paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”
Tomorrow you might “fall off the wagon” and sin or you might not. But if you are tempted to do so, one answer to that is “not today!.” Hold on for just one more day, and pray to God for strength and help from Him directly or from others.
You can be self-controlled in one area, but not in another. Some areas are your temper when you are angry, your diet, a wandering mind, lust, greed, filthy language, gossip, lying, slander, or laziness. The self-controlled person is self-controlled in all areas. The one who is self-controlled in most areas, but not others, is not self-controlled.
Good Practice makes Perfect
Just as correct practice can make someone into a good musician or sports athlete, practicing self-control makes for better self-control. As you focus more and more on what is right, your “attention span” for good things grows. But there are some additional things to help us in this too.
Fasting is useful to help us focus on our prayer and walk with the Lord. When you are tempted to stumble, get help by phoning a Christian friend, or better yet, see them in person. Have an accountability partner, who will lovingly challenge you in how you are doing in a particular area, or in all areas. You may need to struggle to gain victory; but you don’t have to struggle all by yourself. When you sin, James 5:16 says to confess your sins to one another.
Finally, Romans 13:14 says to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh. So for example, if you were struggling with alcohol, should you bring some alcohol with you, no intention of drinking it, but “just in case” so that you don’t have to pay money for expensive drinks? – No.
So don’t just practice self-control some of the time, allowing for chat days. Rather, practice self-control all the time.
Circumstantial Self-Control is Good
In Proverbs 30:7-8 Agur asks God not to give him too much or too little materially. If he had too much, he sees that his trust on God will grow dim, and if he has too little he might steal and profane God’s name. So Agu is asking God to give him the right circumstances materially.
If you have a concern about self-control sexually, getting married is good. In 1 Corinthians 7:35-38 Paul says, “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but in order to promote proper decorum and undivided devotion to the Lord. However, if someone thinks he is acting inappropriately toward his betrothed, and if she is beyond her youth and they ought to marry, let him do as he wishes; he is not sinning; they should get married. But the man who is firmly established in his heart and under no constraint, with control over his will and resolve in his heart not to marry the virgin, he will do well. So then, he who marries the virgin does well, but he who does not marry her does even better.”
If you are having trouble with self-control, under the circumstances, then change your circumstances! When I was working in Ireland, at church the worship leader told me that he was an alcoholic most of his life. After he came to Christ he knew that he could not get drunk anymore. But he couldn’t help himself, because after work his buddies would always come by to go to the bar with him. So he decided not to stop bringing any money with him when he went to work. When his buddies came by, he said they would have to pay, because he did not have any money. After a while, they stopped coming and the problem was solved.
Not only should we not be sexually immoral with a loose woman, but Proverbs 5:8 says, “Keep your path far from her; do not go near the door of her house,”. Change your circumstances so you will not even be near a place like that.
Within marriage, 1 Corinthians 7:5 says, “Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control.”
Proverbs 22:24-25 says not to make friends with a hot-tempered person, or else you might learn their ways. Someone once said you will be like the average of your five closest friends.
All-Season Self-Control is Better
Ordering your circumstances to keep self-control is good, but not needing to do so is even better. Remember, no temptation was come to you that is not common to others, according to 1 Corinthians 10:13. But we are supposed to flee various temptations in 1 Corinthians 6:18; 10:14; 1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22, not tempt ourselves with them. But with constant practice of self-control, and turning our eyes upon Jesus, the thing of the world will grow “strangely dim” as an old hymn says.
However, make sure your “liberty” does not become a stumbling block for others. For example, if you are not tempted to get drunk in bar, don’t take someone there who might be.
Early (Pre-Nicene) Christians who taught on self-control are Clement of Rome, 2 Clement, Athenagoras (self-control of our eyes), Irenaeus of Lyons, Clement of Alexandria (self-restraint of both our tongue and our actions), Origen, Methodius, and Lactantius.
Denying Yourself (Mortification)
When we preach the gospel, is our message just “additive”? In other words, do we only talk about the gains when you add Christ to your life and follow Him? No, our message should be subtractive as well as additive. In Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; and Luke 9:23 says said, “If anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross [daily] and follow Me.” Our old self was crucified with Christ according to Romans 6:6.
In other words, people need to know that if they come to Christ, they are not just going to gain, they are also going to lose something. They are also going to lose living their sinful life.
Ephesians 4:20-24 says, “But this is not the way you came to know Christ. Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him — in keeping with the truth that is in Jesus — to put off your former way of life, your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be renewed in the spirit of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Can someone follow Christ is they are unwilling to every deny themselves? Galatians 5:24 says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Paul says in Galatians 2:20 that he is crucified with Christ, and he no longer lives, but Christ in him. We are to put to death (strong words) the deeds of the body in Romans 8:12-13. In Matthew 7:22-23 Jesus tells of those who will be surprises after they die. They will tell Jesus they did many might works, yet Jesus will tell them to depart, calling them evildoers and that Jesus never knew them.
Colossians 3:1-5 tells us how to do this. “Therefore, since you have been raised with Christ, strive for the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory. Put to death, therefore, the components of your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry.”
Early Christians also spoke about “mortification” or putting to death your old self. Irenaeus of Lyons, Clement of Alexandria, Tertullian, Origen, and Cyprian of Carthage all spoke of this.
Summary
So we need to keep an eye on the big picture, the prize before us, of pleasing the Lord. But we also need to keep an eye on the details, the big and little steps we take every day, that we walk closer with Christ. It takes an athlete’s determination, not to shed flab and build muscle, but to mortify the flesh and live the new life in Christ.
References
All Bible quotes are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB).
Meyers, Allen C. The Eerdman’s Bible Commentary p.923
Ante-Nicene Fathers. Hendrickson Publishers.
Harrison, R.K. (editor) The New Unger’s Bible Dictionary p.1155
Pfeiffer, Charles F. Howard F. Vos, John Rea (editors), Wycliffe Bible Dictionary p.1546
www.biblequery.org/History/ChurchHistory/WhatEarlyChristiansTaughtOnExperienceAndPractive.html